Posted tagged ‘friendships’

So this is Christmas…

December 16, 2016

2011-03-21-22-18-53

I have been reflecting on the years gone by and how the lead up to Christmas was once hectic.  Over the last handful of years I have deliberately chosen not to rush out and meet up with people, or rush around and attend “Christmas parties”.  This year I notice that there are no invitations to such meetings and I am much more rested.

I am not sure what it is about this time of year that causes people to become harangued and busy.  The people you love are usually available to you all year to spend time with.  The few who travel to see you (or whom you travel to see) are far more interested in connecting face to face than going to events and shows and entertainment.  It may be a good time to rest and just talk.  Get less busy, get more connected.

I have noticed that my work becomes busier in the lead up to Christmas.  Due to this and the previous rushing around, by Christmas Eve I would be so exhausted I had no energy to talk or connect.  This year I am not rushing around but work remains busy.  The holidays bring to the surface conflicts that have been ignored all year.  If you have been ignoring unhealthy relationships, then now is a good time to clear them up.  Make this the last year that you drag unhealthy relationships through the year with you, make the decision to sort out boundaries as soon as you notice they’ve been trashed.  If you can do this then you will be able to enter Christmas much more mentally rested.

Next year I will talk more about minimalism and reducing the amount of stuff you have, because more people have been asking me about this.  If you have a question, please pop it in the comments below.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a fabulous start to 2017!

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Sanitising the muck in your head…

October 25, 2015
The sun is rising over a small island in the Indian Ocean

The sun is rising over a small island in the Indian Ocean

My head is spinning and all weekend I have been trying to quiet it. I noticed a few months back that as work became busier, my head filled up a lot. It is an occupational hazard to dream about others’ problems, and have nightmares about others’ experiences. People bring the ugly side of life to me to leave in a safe place.
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Life is like my house renovation…

October 20, 2013

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all gone...

I love my house, but it is very old. Its quite functional for lifestyle, however from time to time I need to upgrade. Currently, this is the bathroom. Decorated in the delightful ’70s decor of baby pink and baby blue, it has served well…however it is the size of a handkerchief.

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In my life…

August 6, 2013
"All these places have their moments" - The Beatles

“All these places have their moments” – The Beatles

This past year my life has had a number of significant moments, and it occurs to me that each of them happened under stormy, dark clouds. For those that missed is, I completed Ironman 70.3 although I was sick on the day I managed a time of 7 hours 39 minutes, which was not too shabby given the illness. I learned to push through, to put in the training and see how far my body could go. I got a lovely medal too!

Its also been a year of loss. Loss of friendships, loss of loved ones and loss of time. Friendships come and go in our lives, and while each person leaves an indelible mark on us, at some stage they go in a different direction. Learning to let go and let them be is important. Hanging onto them forces us to be anchored in a place that holds us back. If we can’t grow together, we need to learn to let go. Its hard.

The repeated losses of loved ones over the last year left me in a place of feeling a little disconnected. Each death reminded me to live life to the fullest, however processing the losses one after another left me also feeling stunned (as in hit by a bus). I took some time out to process and accept the losses, to say my personal goodbyes and learn to live well amidst them. Too frequently people rush goodbyes and try to keep moving at the same rapid pace of life, this doesn’t allow healing. I encourage you to grieve well and say goodbye in your own way.

You may need a ritual, you may need to plant a new tree, you may need to write in your journal for hours on end, you may need to talk to a psychologist….do what you need to do, take the time you need to heal.

I feel well again. I am surrounded by wonderful people and will enjoy the next season of life. The clouds are receding and the sunshine is coming through… keep tuned in, I will write more!

the wash-up of the $500 challenge…what I learned

March 28, 2012

So, within 12 days of starting the challenge to live on $500 for a month it was all over. I have learned a few things and will briefly list them here:
1) As soon as the “budget” was over, I went into spend mode. It felt like a switch in my head had been flipped from having to be so tightly controlled by the financial state, the budget was like a prison I had broken free of. Perhaps this is why we sometimes see those who are poor make terrible decisions about buying a huge new TV or other consumer good that just gets them in more financial difficulty? That overwhelming push to break from the prison is a nasty feeling.
2) Those who live with such narrow boundaries learn to be creative and clever with things. Necessity is the mother of invention and certainly I am amazed and impressed by how well some people manage on so little.
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a meaningful life…

January 30, 2012

A new year is underway and everywhere I see busyness… in the midst of that I wondered about how often people lament about the lack of meaning they sense in their lives. Bees live in community, and although you rarely see one sitting about doing nothing (they are always busy), what they create comes from the hive. In reflecting on this, I wrote a short poem.
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the concept of recovery…

January 7, 2012

I have been gone a couple of months (you may have noticed), not because I was travelling or having a grand adventure, but because I was recovering. I went through the loss of a relationship last year, and towards the end of the year I needed some time to be quiet and reflect on life. What I find interesting is the number of people I speak to who do not go through recovering after some loss forced upon them, and are surprised that they are not coping with life at full speed.
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