our ideal selves…


There are days I am my ideal self for whole minutes at a time. What do I mean? Well, we all aspire to be an “ideal self”, which may be that person who pays attention to others, makes soup for the sick neighbour, runs an errand while out to save doubling back, gives to the charity when they appeal, goes for the run at 6am on Monday morning… you get the picture. We all have these ideal selves that we see as who we would like to be.

So, what happened to us? Why is it that we consistently fall way below the standard of being our ideal selves? Why do we drive when we mean to walk (aside from just bad planning)? Why do we not buy those flowers for a neighbour? Why do we not plan and stick to the budget we said we wanted to? Sometimes the gap between ourselves now and our ideal selves seems SO wide. Then there are moments, minutes and even days when we live in that space of being our ideal self.

The moments we are living our ideal are great, we are at peace. When we fall below the standard we feel like “less”. We feel less of a person, we feel a failure, we feel that we will never get there. It is on those days that we are finding out we are human. Often us humans make the error of believing we are god, that somehow by sheer will we can make things happen. Books such as “The secret” are based on this premise. And whenever we fall into that trap of believing we are god, we will fail. Accept, embrace your humanness. Understand your humanness and treat yourself with compassion.

You and I know that you are aiming for the ideal. Go for it! Give it your best shot! But on the days, in the moments when you fall short of being your ideal self, please treat yourself with compassion and kindness. After all, berating yourself is not going to help you be ideal either.

I’d like to talk more about compassion to self in future posts. Please feel welcome to leave a comment on the subject of the ideal self 🙂

Explore posts in the same categories: The power of reflection

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