a jerry maguire moment (the things we think and do not say)…

In just a few weeks I will be offline again, off to a country born in division, torn by strife and bathed in the blood of the innocent… and in preparation for being in “the most dangerous country in the world” I have worked on my will, thought about what I would like to leave people in terms of memories, and generally wondered about how one approaches the idea of death. That is when I had the Jerry Maguire moment… “the things we think and do not say” because I realised that we live emotionally like we under the communist might of a military regime.

Sound extreme? When is the last time that we really told people what we thought of them? When is the last time that we were plain honest about how important, valued or precious someone is in our lives? Usually seldom! In my experience most people don’t say these things because they are afraid of being hurt, afraid that the other person won’t love them back, afraid of feeling rejected….

So we live emotionally restricted lives, where we say few things to select numbers of people. We lavish praise on events but not people, we appear to value productivity and not producers, we spend our energy pursuing goods and not relationships. Yes, I agree, it is a dangerous way to live to be emotionally honest. It is in some ways a crazy thing to do to tell someone you love them or value them, not being sure about how they feel. But, what would the world look like if we all banned the military from our emotional lives and said what we felt about people? How wonderful would it be to hear that you are loved, valued, important to someone?

Perhaps we can start a new movement? A movement where we say what we feel about people and don’t hide in case of hurt, where we accept the risk of pain in order to allow the other to know love! Want to join me?

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