the rules we live by…
I was chatting with someone today who said she felt terrible that she did not enjoy cooking…in fact, she tried to get out of it as often as a Mum possibly could, and she felt awful. Why? Well, there is a rule somewhere that Mums are supposed to cook and bake a lot, and that they should be good at it and even enjoy it! As we were talking about that, it occurred to me that there are lots of rules that make us feel, well, not quite good enough…
Some rules that have struck me:
– I should have a good sense of style and dress like I have just stepped out of Vogue
– my home should look like one of those pictures in Better Homes & Gardens
– I should be able to decorate my home well without a decent budget
– My hair should make a statement about class not about the latest in birds’ nest fashions
I live in a pretty ordinary home, and I love it…but it will never be able to feature on a website or in a magazine… I have comfy clothes but they will not ever have me be mistaken for a model… I take about 1 minute to “do” my hair most days… let’s face it, I don’t live in the world the “shoulds” above describe at all!
Funny though how that list of shoulds cause you to feel uncomfortable or inadequate as a person, it makes you feel sometimes that you are not quite good enough. I’d like to ask who made those rules??? Really, what is wrong with having a home that is lived in and looks like it? Why do we ALL need to look great? I mean surely without a few of us ordinary types around, the stylish people would not look so stylish? As for my hair…well… no idea who came up with rules about what makes stylish hair!
So, for the holidays, before you begin to stress over not enjoying cooking, or not being a domestic goddess, or even worrying about your style….take a deep breath…. let it out… and remember, you are completely OK. You don’t have to do any of these things, you just need to be able to live justly, love deeply and do kindly.