controlling the world…
Following chatting about chaos in the world last week, it occurs to me that we can spend a great deal of time and energy trying to control the world around us. Despite all the evidence that we cannot control the whole world all the time, we still somehow keep trying. The Chinese attempted to control their enemies by building the Great Wall. I have heard the old joke that the definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result. When will we ever learn?
In order to relax and let go of control, we need to first acknowledge that we will never be able to control EVERYTHING. Therefore, taking some time to reflect on life and identify what we can and should control is important. Understanding what we can change, recognizing when we should change… these things are important to healthy living.
Once we figure out that we are not God (that’s right, He’s got the whole world in His hands – to quote an old song – which means we don’t) then it starts getting easier to relax. After all, no one around us holds the belief that we are perfect and in perfect control, so we are not disappointing anyone by not being so. Yes, we can let go of the belief that we SHOULD somehow be able to control things, and start to live.
The next thing is really learning to relax knowing that we aren’t in control. Stop kicking yourself everytime things go wrong, stop beating up on yourself for not being perfect. Accept that you are only human, and therefore sometimes things will just go wrong. Breathe. Accept. Relax.
Now that you no longer believe you have to control everything, and you have the perspective to understand which decisions you do control, you can begin to feel the freedom of being out from under the burden of perfectionism. Stretch, breathe, relax… and start to live a little!