More on changing relationships

As I read some of the comments, I got to thinking about how often we are guilty of not allowing someone else to change.  I mean, it is one thing to feel hard done by when others don’t seem to understand that we are no longer who we used to be, but a new, improved version of ourselves.  But, its another thing entirely when a friend makes some changes and that forces us to be different around them.  How uncomfortable that can be for us!

Some of the most common times are when a friend enters a new relationship, gets married, becomes a parent, or changes careers.  These are such milestone times in our lives and we seek to celebrate them, but sometimes they also mean the other person has moved into a world where their perspective is no longer the same as ours.  And this leaves us feeling cheated in some way, we want to drag them back and force them back into seeing things from our perspective.

People often ask how I have managed to keep friendships, true friendships that are deep and lifelong for many years (some over 20 years now).  My answer is simple, I always want the best for my friends.  I decided a long time ago to give them the grace they needed to change, and to accomodate that change whenever I could.  Sometimes that has meant some distance from them, sometimes it has meant greater closeness.  Always it has meant that the friendship had to cease being about what I needed from it.

Somehow, being the kind of friend that allows growth, change and mistakes has brought into my life the world’s most amazing friends.  I adore my friends, all of them!  I am so incredibly blessed to know them, to be able to share their journeys, to have experienced their love and generosity.

Perhaps you too need some of these friends?  Perhaps its time for you to become such a friend.

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Explore posts in the same categories: The power of reflection

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