In previous posts I have talked about the new religion of consumerism and how somehow it is a new standard in the 21st century. As I mentioned last week, there are people who choose not to live by those values, who choose frugality as a way of life. In our democracy we state that the point of sending soldiers to die for our freedom is so that we can have these choices. In reality, often people who choose differently are judged, perhaps even condemned (that may be too strong a word) for not adopting the majority values.
Some of the typical comments can be “why would you want to [insert frugal choice here, e.g. bake your own cakes instead of just buying]???” The implication is that there is something wrong with baking, and if you answer that it is cheaper and healthier (because you know what is in the cake) then some may be negative or patronising. However, choosing to manage finances is not just about money, it is actually about the whole value system of identifying what is important – one’s values – and then choosing to live authentically in that space.
Being a paid work or unpaid work mother is one reflection of the choices we make to live by the values we have. Choosing frugality in lifestyle is another. These choices are all based on values that are held closely in one’s heart, and the way you make your choices should honour those values. Living by your values does not happen by accident, it takes deliberate decision to reflect a daily lifestyle of values you hold. If you have achieved this or are working on it, well done!
If you have struggled to feel accepted because your values are different, then focus on authenticity and the joy that comes from living close to your values. Reach out to others, because there are more people trying to live by their values than you might realise…and a strong community can form around valuing authenticity.